Some people pray silently to start off their day. Some do so demonstratively, prostrate, facing Mecca. Some stare intently, while sipping a flavored (gag!) coffee, at birds flitting in a grove of trees outside their kitchen window. Me, I empty the dishwasher, dutifully, as early as I can muster with new breaking day. That invisible domed area around my sink, including several cabinets and part of the kitchen table, is my cathedral. Just me and my various selves, some eager to chat, some still sleeping. I especially prize the one that has the presence of mind to start brewing coffee (no fancy timer on my pot) and I later thank him for not serving up decaf or a carafe of hot water.

Don't get me wrong – I hate seeing the dishwasher full each morning. I have better things to do – including doing nothing – than to sort, relocate and pack away a bunch of warm and fragile items, most of which I didn't sully in the first place. It's just that I've trained myself to deal with it and make it disappear earlier rather than later. And in the process, have taken a zen-like approach to the task at hand. It's now a contemplative and free-thought sort of time where I listen to my personas speculate, discuss and vie for my attention. The result is profound daily insights about me and my life, which I'll try to summarize below.

1. I am a ninja! While I'm moderating the internal town hall meeting, my arms feel multiplied. Like the tentacles of an octopus, I'm reaching into a dimly lit stainless steel cave bristling with sharp blades and thin glassware waiting for the small avalanches that will reveal their deadly edges. All limbs blur with precise reaches, swivels and careful placements. Glasses go here...wet glasses drain there...serving spoons over here...cauldron down there. At the same time, looming above my head, two swung-open cabinet doors lay in ambush, looking to dent my skull and shake the north wall of the kitchen. That I walk away unscathed nearly every time amazes me still.

2. I am master of multitasking. After placing the ice cream scoop in the drawer with one hand, I wheel, reach up and stuff a two-piece glass leftover container – at a precise angle – into a void between other glass vessels with the other hand. As I head back to the dishwasher, an appropriately moderated hip check softly closes the afore-mentioned drawer. Cha!

3. I have no idea what I'm doing. If this flurry of productivity had a soundtrack, it might well be from an adrenaline laden Hollywood chase scene. Now imagine the sound of a needle dragging quickly across vinyl. I find myself hunched over in the pots-and-pans section with a teaspoon in my hand. Whaaaat? The system comes to a grinding halt. And I'm wasting valuable time pondering my flub. Dammit kid – get your head back in the game, and pronto!

4. I am a creative genius! The ideas that flood into my brain cavity range from web 2.0 startups to philanthropic initiatives to quickly executed (and expertly edited) arthouse films. I have what it takes to bring home gilded statues and crowns of olive leaves. There will be network TV interviewers competing for time with me. My children will recount my artistic exploits well into their golden years...

5. I am an idiot! Ugh – I totally forgot about invoicing what's-his-name! I wonder if the shirt laundry will sell or donate my forgotten summer shirts, assuming I'm dead. If I don't hurry up and change that litter box, Steve the cat will pee on the clean laundry! When oh when will you redesign your logo and stationery, you so-called "creative"? And dont get me started on finishing that business plan...arrrrgh!

6. I'm really hard on myself. "Idiot" and "moron" are words that slip into my internal dialogue when I realize or remember that something remains undone, whether a day or 15 years has gone by. Can I really be responsible for checking off every thing on every list? And what's with the name calling? If only I could afford therapy.

7. I'm very forgiving (of myself) ultimately. As I put away the final items, I know it's time to leave the chat room and most all of its personalities behind. That's because I'm determined to cease the introspection – all introspection – and start working. I can't always be thinking now can I... I've got to start doing! I guess I'm only human after all, and gosh darn it, [some] people like me, no matter what. Besides, I can always post my neuroses online. That way I know where they are, but I don't have to entertain them all day long.

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